Nomad JuanCa's Report

If i can summarize the output of my Dr appointment today in one word it would be ... "BULLSHIT".... or perhaps CRAP....mmm i think "BULLSHITCRAP" would be more accurate.

My mother arrived on time, and we both got into Dr's office... prior to that i got my blood pressure measured and my weight as well. Last time in May i weighted 79kg today i weighted 80.5kg. About my blood pressure i know nothing about standards but the nurse said i was ok.

We got into Dr's office.. and i was nervous, but a bit confident... i mean... i only had diarrhoea for a week in the last 2 months (since May 8th where i had my last appointment), my mother was nervous too. We seated and everything started to happen again... what is my name and all that. She does not remember who i am. She asked me if i had been having any trouble and i told her i had diarrhoea two weeks ago and that it lasted a week. She asked.."why didn't you call me?"...?????? I mean.. come on it was a diarrhoea..... i was not dying of PCP.... She said i have to be more careful. I told her it might be the hamburguers i love to eat and that i might have taken one late at night but Lactobacillus and Imodium helped me.

She started to look at my folder... and then she said.."oh.. we don't have your western blot test, nor your hepatitis c test.... have you taken vaccine against hepatitis b?" I answered yes... i did... i had told her that ON MAY!!. She said... "ohh but you haven't came since April 2007!!!!". My mother told her.."he came here to meet you on May 8th" Dr replied "oh really?, then why i don't have anything noted on his folder?". The fucking bitch is not keeping track of my case... she is a bitch. She is a bastard bitch playing games with my life. All the bullshit she started to say was the same crap she told me on May... come on bitch!! don't you remember you said the same crap to me before???.

Then the biggest insult came... the bitch was doubting why the lab requested me to repeat my western blot test.... western blot and IFI tests are used to confirm HIV diagnosis on patients... i had an IFI positive test for Hiv and this hospital screwed my western blot test.... the bitch started to doubt if i was hiv positive patient or not she is such a bitch. I mean ... do i have to face this? don't they understand how nervous their fucking stupid unprofessional behavior gets me?. Ok, bitch you want to test me for Hiv once more... go for it. Then she found the IFI test and said... "ahh no.. we don't need western blot since you have already tested positive in IFI one".

Then she said to the nurse... "you see, that's why we don't work properly... these tests does not belong to him!!"

WHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT????????????????????????????????????????

What are you trying to say mother fucking bitch that you have all my tests wrong????? she got me crazy and i started to feel panic... i mean... my CD4... my other tests... i could have died already and these mother fuckers would not know. I could only ask "is the CD4 test really mine??". She looked back at it and said... "oh yes this is yours, you had 494". Careless bitch. I hate the way they act, don't they understand i have feelings and they are not talking about simple papers but about the indicators of my health state... the indicators OF MY LIFE.

Then she asked me if i had had any problem... i told her i am sometimes feeling very tired but nothing more. She ordered all tests again... and said "ah nurse, order for him a BDRM tests as well cause we need them" and i exploded...." hold on, you are asking me to do all tests again... but for example the BDRM test, i asked you last time about it and you told me i was clean... now you are asking for it again, what do you mean? you mean you didn't have it before? was it also wrong test?". She looked at me and said " I had your BDRM i am ordering a new one to update the available information on your health, the fact that you are feeling weak could mean that you have got something... some virus or anything else due to unprotected sex with someone else so i need to verify it once more. Remember that the fact you can infect someone because of having unprotected sex is not the only thing we have to care about... we also have to care about you not getting infected of any sexual disease, hepatitis or any other viral infection that a seronegative person could give you". Ok... that sounds fair.

I left with an order full of tests.... once more. I will take them the day after tomorrow cause i can only do them on thursday.... very early in the morning.... and as usual my body react to the Dr's meeting.. i left her office trembling...i could feel it... it was so physically evident... and i hate it. I left her office full of fears.... her words and her lack of professionalism didn't help me... my mind started to fly.... what if? what if? what if?.... then i tried to control me... come on Juan Carlos... be optimistic. Your weight is ok, you are feeling ok, you have played safe.... there should be nothing to worry about....anyways, before taking the tests i will copy all the things she ordered and my next appointment with her on August 14th i will make sure she has them all and with the correct name.

She said... "well... i would prescribe you complex b and acid ascorbic but there is nothing of that in the hospital... so i will let you go without any prescription". so she is a very practical bitch huh?.... My mother asked her to prescribe me the vitamins anyways, she would buy them outside the hospital for me.. same like she did a week ago.Well... lets get over this shit and keep on living, lets do the tests and wait until middle of August to see how is my life. If i can base on my personal feeling i would say my CD4 is the same of have improved a bit.... or perhaps it has declined but not so much. Time will say.

Labels: New life, same illness