Nomad JuanCa's Report

Today i found a link from forums to a video channel in myspace.com about Hiv. There are several stories from people where they speak about their points of views of what Aids epidemy means for our generation.

There is something written at the beggining of every video that called my attention "Our generation has never known a word without Aids". It got me shocked... cause you know... it is truth. Since the appearance of the virus and the beginning of the epidemy (25 years ago) our world has changed enormously... and people still don't realise it. There nowadays people eager to avoid this topic like if it was non existent... we have lost contact with reality... but reality has not stopped contacting us... we have just been unable to see what's going on around us... and thats a big pity.

I saw some stories today, about people trying to make a difference... and i am so glad about them. I haven't met any of those here in Ecuador. I have only met people who are ashamed for who they are... and live hidden, not able to feel proud of themselves and been straight forward talking about a disease that is NO LONGER STRANGE in the world... open your eyes. HIV/AIDS is no longer something new... it is a fact, it is part of real life... it is there. Same like Cancer and Diabetes... and it is hitting us strongly, specially to all those who don't want to see.

thinkHIV: This is Elizabeth

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There are so many stories people are not aware of... that it is amazing yet to me that people are unable to realise this is really happening... this is not a horror movie... it is real life.

While surfing internet today i found this...


Ecuador Reports 6,000 AIDS Cases
On Wednesday in Quito, Ecuador, health ninister Teofilo Lama said 6,000 AIDS cases have been reported in the country. The most likely cases are no longer gay men, but rather women and children, according to Lama. Ecuador recorded its first HIV infection 20 years ago.[This summary provided by the CDC National Center for HIV, STD, and TB Prevention Xinhau News Agency December 2, 2004] HIVPlusMagazine

So that means first Hiv case was diagnosed in here on 1984, in twenty years we reached 6.000 cases (diagnosed... but that is actually not a real number since there is an estimated prevalence of Hiv infection much ... much... much higher). I still can't understand why people are unable to see things as they are.

These past two weeks have been exhausting, have had nightmares, frustrations, personal problems, money problems, pain in my eye, fury attacks.... have had lot of things. I am a bit of emotionally exhausted. I have been trying to be emotional support for several of my friends... poz and non poz. I think i need a rest. I actually took one and took some measures not to be absorved by other's problems... I have decided i will limit my listening time to other problems, there have been some days when i have been very very very tired and down... and two friends have called me to talk to them... when talking to them actually means listening to them... which i am glad to do... i have always done that for my friends... but doing it when you are down...and emotionally exhausted... is not good nor funny.

I have decided i will be there for my friends... but i won't let them use me as a base for their strenght. I mean i will listen and i will advise.. but if they don't do something, anything... even if it is not my advise.. if they don't do anything to improve their situation... i won't listen to them about same issue anymore. Cause it is useles and it is just too demanding for me. Since writing online... everybody think i am strong enough to carry on with the world's problems... come on... i hardly carry my own ones... i can't carry everybody's problems too.

I have started with it.

I was giving some advise to a man from Chile who thinks he is infected... he took the tests.. but is so scared that he has been unable to pick up the results. I have been trying to help him online for 2 days... but next day he always come with "i am feeling this" "what if" "what if" "what if" until the day i told him. "I am not going to listen to you anymore until you get your test results... meanwhile... we won't speak about this thing anymore, i have already told you all i know... if you don't want to accept it.. it's up to you i can't do more". It might sound too hard.. but people need to learn to stand up and fight for their lives... that's what we do... and that's how we survive.

Ok Saturday 10pm and i am about to leave job, (finally...) I am very hungry... yummy yummy... gotta go eating something, i am doing fine... my health is ok so far... a bit sleepy days... my work sucks... but i am trying to change it...i am a bit updated with my debts...(with those i am paying... there are others i haven't yet started to pay).... perhaps my mother might start to suffer from heart disease... it is not confirmed yet... she is having some small complications... but so far she is making it right and really looking after herself, i love her... i don't want to loose her.

Life is ok, today is a good day to remain alive. My heart can still feel love for myself, for others and for what i am doing... so i am still really... really... really alive. Thanks God for it. Take care guys!