Nomad JuanCa's Report

Ok, today i wanted to say two things... today we had a long talk with my sister... a lot about my condition, my current status, and more. She told me she also had a friend of her living with Hiv, so she is talking with both of us to understand this more and see how she can help. Slowly our relationship is getting closer... we didn't really spoke much, cause well... we never really spent much time together years before, then she got married and well... The good part is that now we are trying to get together again . After our talk there was something she told me.. that left me thinking.. "do you think you are doing enough about hiv prevention and advocacy? don't you think you are treating it too superficially? just like talking about it but without showing or sharing scientific facts about it". Mmm... well... i think i am doing the most i can to bring the hiv topic on the table... and much more important on the heart of as many people as i can. Not much sure of what else i need to do in fact i think i am doing more than what normal people would do after diagnosed..... her words left me thinking..

Ok the other thing i will do tonight is to share with you a gift. It happens that when i was living in Moscow i made lot of friends, some of those i still keep in contact. One of my good friends is Artem Senikovsky, an amateur singer, model, song writer and actor who lives in Moscow. Oh yeah... i do know some people from "Da Business!". So this is something that will kill all the girls (and some guys too) LOL... here are some pics of Artem (and yes... you can click on them to make them bigger..LOL).

Aha, i can hear you all screaming and getting shocked by his smile and green eyes.

Don't worry, it is normal thing for him. LOL. I still remember when I introduced Artem to Monica Thakker, from India (One of my Russian MC team members) and she was.... astonished... and told me.. "man... did you see those eyes????????". Yeah, he is my friend and i agree that his eyes could kill someone one day LOL.

The thing is that Artem is writing and recording some songs now, some songs he had written by himself, and he just sent me one... that is AMAZING, so i decided i would do something good and share it with you. Artem is a very talented guy with a great voice and despite his usual work as a model he also appeared on a Russian soup opera last year. So... go download the song called "remember that i will remember you" (right click and then save target as) (mp3 / size 4.10MB) and discover the New Russian Idol!!! Artem, your song is awesome as usual... send you big hugs from Latin America while thank you for our everlasting friendship . poka!

Labels: New life, Personal, Poems

Well... i will just say something, i don't understand why when i do a simple post, everybody (well not everybody just 2 or 4) people reply (something i thank you cause this weblog is for you my friends)... BUT... why none writes when i say something smart (like my cupid/romeo theory)? The idea of my weblog is to be a space (a virtual space) where we all can learn about our lives and share our thoughts, despite distance... so guys.. when i post something (silly or smart) feel free to post your comments, cause they are important to me... they help me to learn and to grow. By the way... Cristina.. your comment was AWESOME!!! wow.. wow.. wow.. there is too much wisdom in everything you said, thank you for sharing it with me.

Ok, next thing.... i am meeting someone. (oh yeah.. right after the cupid theory... looks like God is also reading this weblog and wanted to contribute) Well, we met about 3 weeks ago or so, it wasn't supposed to be anything... you know.. just something momentary, but well... the moment has extended a bit more than usual.... and it has lasted until today. mmm awesome isn't it? Off course i have to say this person drives me crazy (and is incredibly HOT), but is also smart, mature, great dancer, with firm temper, straight forward, a bit picky and strict sometimes (just like me sometimes), very light (always good food, gym, nature and so on), quiet, clear, sincere, strong, good in conversations, and many more things. Off course by right now you all know i am interested... and yes i am. ALTHOUGH.... we have talked a bit about it, and well.. we or better say this person has pointed we are in a single friendship state, even though this person also agreed there is some special link between us... not too strong, not too week, like this person always says... "if it has to happen it will happen". We already had our first disagreement, and we were just about to split apart... but it was then when i understood i am quite interested in this person and that i was having some mistakes in my way of handling relationships... i guess this person also found out some reason to stay with me... cause we are still together and in the process of getting to know each other better.

Well, i am still sticked to my cupid theory, by the way i took a pic with cupid today...ahh you will love it!!!

Well the real thing is i feel quite happy with this new person in my life, even though sometimes there are some attitudes that put me down.... but i try to understand a bit of what is behind everything this person says.... but sometimes i just don't get it.... so i am not sure if i am in process of becoming a romeo like Cristina said or just keep on being a silly cupid fooling around.... guess romeo side is winning so far ;)

Ok but what makes it relevant... enough to be posted here is that today i realised that there is something happening to me that didn't happen since...mmmmm..... long time ago, lets explain it....

Today..... I started to write poems again. (it does not happen to me since.... 4 years ago).

It is actually awesome for me, cause i though i had lost the inspiration to write, i used to write a lot when i was in love of my first couple, and after we broke up... wrote lot of things in english and spanish (pitifully all my poems were lost thanks to some stupid bug in yahoo mail and to the so famous change of server of www.aiesec.ws). So well.... i think i wrote my last poem around Christmas 2002 in Moscow, perhaps a bit before, and then i cam back.. and i tried to write.. but it just... didn't happen... words didn't flow... feelings didn't show up.... felt like a robot for instance. I assumed that due to the strong experience i had faced in Moscow i had lost the sensibility needed to write (cause my poems are not only words, they are my tears and my blood written on paper). So i accepted a poet inside of me died..... but looks like today he woke up... a bit in love with someone.... which is getting me afraid things "won't happen". Even though.. today... i could not scape, and prevent my hand from writing (on the keyboard of this computer off course cause one have to keep up to the modern times ;) well... words flew while i was listening a rare, but very romantic song of Mecano (and i will never write when there is a song playing cause it bothers my concentration).... and well.. in 5 to 6 mins... it was done. My God.... my first poem in years.... in many years..... i like it, even tough it is not perfect and does not have the rime i used to have in the past, but i feel like a person who could not walk, talk, feel, cry, dream, love, see, listen... for a long long long time... and now... all the steps, the words, the emotions, the tears, the dreams, the feelings, the views, the sounds... are coming back to my life and waking me up... making me feel alive again (OH MY GOD.... can you believe what i am writing???..... f*cking LOVE... if i see you... i will kick your ass!!!.... or may be not =)

Well.... no more words, here comes to you.... my first poem and hopefully not the last of this year (and it is in spanish.. wow... thats improvement, i usually always wrote in english... time changes ;)

Well.... mmm... it has somehow my style... even though the metrics and you know.. concordance of sounds is not the same as i used to have before.... but i like it, just because it is a newly borned... and well.. because it is true, sincere, and this poem of love... is not afraid to show up his face to the world... so i love it.

Labels: Poems